Notes from Shannon - Writing Opportunity

BEAUTIFUL ONE is a bimonthly that targets Christian women. Content includes
health and fitness, inner healing, love and marriage, parenting, and fashion
and style. Lucie Costa is editor of the magazine, which is published by
Beautiful One Ministry. Submissions are welcome. Details are posted at


http://www.beautifulonemagazine.com

Excellent Meeting!

Hey, everyone!

Fantastic turn out last night - and thank you for the excellent meeting last night. We were blessed to have Brett Burner come and share with us his extensive knowledge on E-Books, Print on Demand, and his views on what makes a Christian Book.

For more information, please go to www.lamppostpubs.com

And, for an exciting article on Brett's mission -- read this review:

Worship & The Arts


For anyone who is interested, here is a You Tube Promotion from Zondervan for Brett's graphic novel: Hand of the MorningStar...a must read for all ages...



Take care and God bless each of you in your writing endeavors. If you have questions or comments you would like to share with the group as a whole, please post them here. Brett will be notified, and can post responses on our blog.

~Ashley

Meeting Preparation - 9/23 - An evening with LampPost Publications

Hello, everyone!

I'd like to invite you all to come meet Brett Burner of LampPost Publications!

Brett is joining us next Tuesday, September 23 at Promise Land Christian Bookstore - to discuss the varying aspects of Print on Demand publishing, and share his knowledge on the publishing process as a whole.

The questions we've asked him to talk on (and I'm sure there are many more good ones) are:

Everyone is invited to attend. At 7 p.m. on October 23, Brett Burner of Lamp Post Publishing will be our speak to the group at Promise Land bookstore on the 79 South/Temecula Parkway east of Pechanga Parkway. Turn in at the Longs Drug Store and go left to find Promise Land on the right.

Questions Brett will answer are:

What is a POD publisher?

What types of books do you publish / are you planning on publishing in 2009 & beyond?

How many authors do you work with?

How do authors find you, or vice versa?

What makes a query standout for you?

What happens after the contract is signed? Editorial process to E-book and print.

What sort of marketing do you do to support your authors? reviews? book signings? etc.?

Where do you see E-books going in the future?

Thanks for joining us for this exciting, informative meeting! and be sure to post your questions here so that we can alert him ahead of time! :)

Have a wonderful day, and many blessings on your writing as the conference approaches! wish I could join you...

~Ashley

Matt Bronleewe's new thriller, House of Wolves

Today I received in the mail a preview copy of Matt Bronleewe's new thriller, "House of Wolves." I also received bookmarks and signed bookplates. If anybody wants one, email me privately with your smail mail address and I'll drop one in the mail. For more info on the book, here's his web site. 

Other than that, I just finished Cathy Marie Hake's historical romance "Fancy Pants"--all-in-all a fun read. What are you guys reading?

Dona

Group News

Hey everyone - Just wanted to put up a post to declare open for group news.

Does anyone have anything new to add, share, or submit prayer requests for? This is an open forum, so please leave a comment to this post, so all group members can see.

Much love and many blessings,

Ashley

What are you writing for?

I'm intrigued by today's Writing Tip comment--and was wondering if you all would weigh in with your thoughts.

Writing is both a privilege and a business.

There is so much truth in that. This gift we are all blessed with is a privilege. How are you using your gift? Are you playing with it? Are you honing it as a skill? Are you writing for yourself? For your friends? For your family? Or do you see this as your future?

We are entering the fall season - with thoughts towards writing for a more public audience. We are inviting guest speakers:

• A Publisher
• A Literary Agent

Our topics for fall are still under consideration as we review what you want to receive from our next series of meetings. Please chime in, and let us know how we can serve you and your needs as writers who take time out of your busy lives to hone your skills, and understand that balance is needed.

Looking forward to hearing your comments...

~Ashley

Reaping Results from Group Critique

Reaping Results from the Group Critique - by Beverly Nault

Think of your critique group as a greenhouse. Whether infant or mature, each PLANT requires pruning and fertilizing, just like a story, article or scene. Follow these guidelines for an abundant HARVEST worthy of today’s market.

When you submit for critique:

Have Patience – only unwanted mushrooms grow overnight. Be ready to learn, it takes a discerning eye to identify weeds in the money crop. Even mature writers can learn a thing or two.

Listen – Babbling about your hours in the field wastes valuable time. Save chit-chat and seed swapping for later.

Accept advice and input. You waste everyone’s time if you don’t intend to glean wisdom.

Never argue, explain, or apologize. Let me explain. Briefly introduce the context, but if you defend or argue, you could have stayed home and read the ‘script to the chickens. Apologizing means you didn’t spend enough time checking for typos, errors, or other problems.

Take it all in. Some input you should take with a grain of salt, some you might take to heart. Consider all feedback, maybe your co-author has a point. Friends and family members, sometimes even busy editors, may not offer the honest perspective fellow authors will.

Now, grab your hoe, um, pen, and take a turn in someone else’s garden to prepare for the HARVEST. Here’s how to cultivate:

HELP by beginning with a positive comment about at least one, preferably several things, in the submission. Your remarks may inspire the author to develop a special technique or style. Also, you wouldn’t dump a truck load of fertilizer on a seedling, so try to measure out advice appropriate for each member’s readiness.

Agree and move on. If you concur with another’s remarks, say so, but keep it simple. For example; “I agree with Farmer Joe that dandelion patch needs work. Now about these boll weevils.”

Resist rewriting. Your style is different from everyone else’s, don’t try to clone. You should, however, suggest alternatives to clumsy or clichéd smaller sections. Also, resist asking questions; receivers should listen, not expound.

Value concept and content. It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law–freedom of speech, right? If the work is for a specific market, you can identify something that’s possibly offensive or that might alienate, but what others grow, er, write, is not your concern.

Explain only (and briefly) if you’re an expert or professional. Maybe you know more about the rare blooming titan arum than the average Jane and the piece mentions a second annual bloom. Gasp! Authors rely on valuable resources, and we should check each other’s facts and information whenever possible. That being said…

Stay focused. Following rabbit trails consumes precious time.

Thank other authors for presenting their precious cuttings and encourage them to return with another scene or revision for the next session. Nurture, nurture, nurture.

By sharing our own and reviewing each other’s creations, we gain knowledge, skill and the courage to plant seeds for a fruitful harvest. That rare titan arum? It only blooms once a year. When it does, it smells like rotting fish. Eww. No stinkers here please.

Endings

On our plot skeleton, the legs represented two reactions to all the protagonist had gone through. We see many novel, movies, television shows that have a negative or "no change" ending. The author if asked would probably say they prefer to be a realist. Things aren't always Polyannaish. Right? I mean we live in a real world they might add.

Now here is my moral question for you all. I understand we won't all agree, but I want to hear what you think. Is it our moral duty to end with a positive happy ending? Think about it and give your answers plus reason why.

I look forward to hearing your answers,
Dan

The Plot Thickens

Hey gang, I want to add one thing to the plot skeleton and clarify the story worthy problem.
Sharon's minutes from the last meeting were great, but they made me aware of something I didn't communicate clearly.

The second eye = the story-worthy problem

In the Wizard of Oz the story worthy problem is deeper than finding Oz. Dorothy needs to be content with her current family. This is a universal and timeless issue. Hopefully not to many of us were orphaned, but we all are thrust into new family situations-- We marry, gain in laws, have children with their unique personalities, lose a parent or sibling, watch our kids become teens, gain more in laws as our kids marry, gain grandchildren, maybe even lose a spouse-- like it or not our family unit is in constant flux. We can relate to Dorothy's life lesson. It really is a sovereignty issue. Will we trust God? Will we choose to bloom where He planted us.

I'm reading Hooked (write fiction that grabs readers at page one and never lets them go) by Les Edgerton. Great book by the way. One of her points is you need to be aware of the story worthy problem from page one. You may not write to it specifically, but it will affect your direction from the get go.

Add a nose to our skeleton. Motivation.

This is vital. For both the eyes, the two goals, surface problem and story-worthy problem there needs to be a motivation. A object at rest prefers to stay at rest unless something moves it. Could be greed, love, longing for family, the work of the Holy Spirit, hatred, physical pain, rent is due... but something has to drive characters toward that goal.

I hope this helps clarify.
Metaphors be with you,
Dan

Curve

Like Dan, I'm Blog illiterate. But he got on waaaay before me.
Fred

Brief writer's tips

Here's a couple of outstanding reminders as you are writing from session to session.
"One technique I've found really useful is to try and connect with my characters every day as often as I can. Some days I just don't get to the computer, but I still try to find at least 5 minutes to close my eyes and try to hear my characters speaking... This helps a lot. If I manage to connect a bit with it each day, it's much easier to start writing when I finally find a moment, even if it's only once a week."
Padma Venkatraman
The inciting incident in the plot of your story is the moment when the desire and need of the protagonist move into the world of action. Something happens—perhaps even some small thing—that propels a character into the events of the narrative. In his book The Anatomy of Story, John Truby says this is the moment the protagonist is "out of the frying pan and into the fire." Take a moment to read the first few chapters of your manuscript to see if you have a specific inciting incident that propels your novel forward. Truby says the best inciting incident is one that allows the character to think his or her problems are solved, but actually provides the most difficulty. If your inciting incident is missing or is a little too subtle, crank it up! Make your readers worry about your characters from the moment the action begins, and you're on your way to a better story. Helen Hemphill

Write on! Sharon K.

Developing a "Voice"

Hello All!

I just came across a wonderful discussion on Rachelle Gardner's blog about how writers develop their own voice. I know this is something I have struggled with and wonder if maybe I'm finally beginning to see the difference between style and voice. The comments following Rachelle's post were very helpful. Here's the link: The Writer's Voice.

I hope to see you all Tuesday!

Dona

Test

Hey guys,
One small step for most of civilization, one huge step for Dinosaur-Dan.
You all are a blessing to Denise and me. My hope is this group will be a place where your gifts may flourish.
Thanks Ashley for dragging this old coot into the blogasphere. :)
D and D

Test Post from Jackie

This is a test to see if I have done this correctly.

Dan & Denise: Thank you for the plot skeleton you gave us on Tuesday. That will be very helpful as I continue my work on Silent Screams.

Ashley: I used my yahoo email (jackieharts@yahoo.com) to set up the blog. I hope that does not cause any problems. And thank you for introducing me to the world of blogging. Please feel free to delete this.

God bless you all,

Jackie Harts

One of my favorite writing blogs

I'm taking up Ashley's challenge to contribute something to this blog.

I thought I would share one of my favorite writer's blogs. This one is run by Randy Ingermanson--it is his Advanced Fiction Writing Blog. Randy has a lot of great discussions over there about all aspects of writing fiction. I encourage you all to stop by. I'm glad you be sure you did. Here's the URL: http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/

Dona

Blogging 101

Here's your test - post something, anything, and we'll see how we do!

Comment to this if you have any questions! Best of luck!

~Ashley

Meeting Review Tuesday May 27 2008

What drives your interest in a novel -character or plot? This was the beginning focal point for our Tuesday writer's session. It's a Catch 22 or a round-about if you try to answer the question "Does plot creater character or do characters drive the plot?" We all agreed a well-written combination of plot and character creates the best of winning stories. So don't neglect either one when you're laboring over that blank my story sheet.


Before diving into our 15 word 'catch an editor in the elevator' story line and 250 word synopsis, Dan presented Hunt's basic plot skeleton that describes the movement of 98% of story plots (see diagram below - click to view larger image).

The eyes have it; two problems complete a story structure
one problem for the characters on the surface (Dorothy gets trapped in Oz)
one problem that is less obvious that the reader identifies with (the Wizard isn’t who everyone thinks he is).

The body of the work moves with at least three conflicts after a primary incident that traps a compelling character into a situation from which they can’t escape. The character progresses through the pages to a final conflict – their largest and bleakest moment. This generally ends with an epiphany where realization of the struggle produces a change in character.
So when you have finished your final draft, put a tux on the skeleton and go accept the prize for your award winning story.

Here’s the summary for our 15/250 exercise:

15 word pitch includes:
· protagonist (ex: an archeology professor)
· story problem (saves the Arc of the Covenant from unholy war mongers)

250 word synopsis includes:
powerful, colorful words
character voice, author voice
presented in present tense
plot, setting, main characters
does not exceed one page (page and one-half for high concept novels)

Next week we will be discussing characters. Please email any reviews of this topic to the members of the group.





~Sharon

You're invited...

Welcome, writer's group members!

You're all invited to take part in adding to this blog. A few suggestions before you add your words of wisdom and thoughts of the day, writing news, prayer requests, and anything else you care to discuss...

This is what they call a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) format. You'll notice the text area looks just like word - or your standard e-mail browser. Feel free to play around and jot in an entry.

I also suggest you label your post - either with your name, or the topic you want to discuss - simply choose "Show all" to see post option labels.

Click on the picture to see the highlighted areas for text entry. If you have any questions, drop a comment here, and I'll be happy to help.

The topic next time is Character Development... so, blog to your heart's content! ask questions - post potential reference sites, and we look forward to seeing how we can work together to make our characters "round" as they say...

Sharon will be posting about our Plot Development discussion - and our 15 word pitch and 250 word synopsis or back cover blurbs...

We missed all who didn't attend - and also need votes on how many people are going to need a July/August "summer vacation!"

God bless, and good writing...

Ashley

Elevator Pitch

Hey gang.
Time to get your 15 word pitch in.
Here is the one I'm thinking about for the next book.

A culinary boot camp diva gets a taste of the ultimate comfort food-- grace.

If you are struggling as much as I am with the 250 word, it may be because you don't know your plot.

If you are finished with your book and feel it would help to write a back cover synopsis, go for it. I look forward to reading them. But if this seems impossible don't worry we are planning on discussing plot this month. We will go over a simple plot skeleton. This will serve as an outline for your 250 word back cover and hopefully help your story stay on course.

The next two months will be devoted to the two most vital elements of novel writing. Plot and character. I look forward to all your input.
See you Tuesday,
God bless,
Dan and Denise

The Pitch.

Here's some information that you might find useful in developing your pitch...

High Concept Pitches in a Nutshell
by Helen Andrew, Editor,Cactus Rose, American Rose

If you’ve been to a writers’ conference, you’ve no doubt heard the term "high concept pitch." But what exactly does it mean? Simply put, a "high concept pitch" is a one or two sentence description of your book. That’s all.

Easier said than done, though. How exactly do you take your 100,000 word baby and boil it down to its marrow? You’re close to your work. You know it intimately. It’s full of love, laughter and your creative genius. How can you possibly reduce it to twenty words or less?

Rest assured that it can be done. All it takes is a step back, a little education, and some good old fashioned discipline.

What is unique about your project? What makes it stand out from what is on the market right now? Answer these questions and you have the backbone of your high concept pitch. Be sure to include the time period if your project is a historical romance.

Now make your pitch sizzle. Use active, sensory language to draw the agent or editor in. Help him visualize your characters and setting. Show him why your idea is the best one out there, then leave him with a desire for more.

Consider the following two pitches for Goldilocks and the Three Bears:

1. A little girl sneaks into a house owned by three bears and falls asleep.
2. A pre-teen burglarizing blonde girl falls asleep in a house and is caught by the ursine owners.

The first one is pretty ho hum, isn’t it? But the second one caught your attention. Why?

First of all, we learn more about our heroine. She’s not just a little girl. She’s a little girl with blonde hair who breaks into houses. Also notice that I didn’t use her name. By describing her instead, I made her more accessible so the editor can visualize her.

Additionally, we learn she is caught by the bears. What will happen next? Do they attack her? Do they chase her away? What is in store for our heroine when the bears find her? A good high concept pitch leaves the editor wanting to know more.

Point of View - Meeting Notes

Greetings, fellow authors!

I say that, because as we all know - if you are writing, you're an author. It is what God has put on your heart to do. We write because we must.

We've agreed that there is so much going on in everyone's life - that we needed to put together a group "blog" so that we can remember what we've learned, and keep an eye on where we're headed. This is our toolbox, and as we grow it will be interesting to see how far we've come as a group! Dan and Denise are steering the ship, and we are most grateful for their bringing us all together!

First of all, thanks again to Bev for hosting. We appreciate you! (from the guests who wouldn't leave...) Secondly, we had a few new members join us - a nod to Leonard and Tonya - we are looking forward to seeing more of what you are working on. Glad to have you! Third - thank you all for the kudos! It's exciting to have landed my first book contract - and a total God thing that my editor's suggestion was to review my novel for... Point of View violations. Ha!

This week, we met to work on POV (Point of View). We've each done research on what POV means, how it can be a useful tool in promoting suspense, sharing the motivations of your characters, and driving your story forward. We had the extra benefit of being able to review writing from each of the POV narratives:

• 1st Person - I picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.
• 2nd Person - you picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.
• 3rd Person - Jackie picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.

Each one serves a different purpose - and puts your reader in a different place. Each one has its benefits and limitations. We saw first person through Sharon's teenage baseball star. Second person was explored through Ralph's exploration of all three POVs, and third person was reviewed both from Bev's intimate (character's inner thoughts) and Fred's more action oriented, third person limited.

Next time, we will meet to give our Elevator Pitches - your story in 15 words or less! and to provide our 250 word "back cover blurb." This is not your full story synopsis, mind you - but a teaser that would entice readers to open your book. It is the most hair-pulling, mind-bending writing that we can do, but a challenge that you'll find well worth it.

Please comment to this posting, and leave your thoughts for good places to research how to write a blurb / elevator pitch!

God bless and good writing... or, as Dan says... metaphors be with you!

~Ashley*

*If you are interested in posting a blog entry, please e-mail me: ashleyludwig@verizon.net and I'll set you up!

Point of View - Article of Interest #2

Fellow pensters,

Here's another article I found that goes into some really great detail. It's the transcript to a video lecture you can download.

http://www.writingshow.com/articles/transcripts/2007/07222007.html

Anyone need directions again?

Bev

Point of View - Preparation E-mail

Hey Gang,

Time to get your page in. Some of you may be wrestling with what to send. I mean, we ought to be able to keep our point of view on track for one page. Right?

So, send in a page you're wrestling with, or, as I'm going to do, write one page with a POV that you've never experimented with before, maybe second person.
You all sent many great articles on POV.

For those who remember my original E-mail where I gave an example of a point of view violation and asked what was wrong with it, the problem was the character described what was happening to his own face in a way that only someone else could see. In first person, they shouldn't say "my face turned red." POV violation.

It's important when creating the fiction dream that the reader is cemented to one point of view per scene. A trust is developed with the author that everything written is from that point of view. Clear as mud--right? We'll talk more on Tuesday night.

I've been asked about CBA vs. ABA market. I'd like to spend a few minutes on that Tuesday night as well. I think there have been many mind-bending changes in the last few years that could come as a surprise.

Also, I plan on launching next month's topic: Punctuation. NOT MY SPECIALTY! When do you use those em dashes and ellipses, anyhow? And since when is there only one space after a period? And when did some authors start beginning sentences with a conjunction? Auhhhhh! What is this world coming to?

It was also brought to my attention that if people are taking the time to send in samples, they would like some real concrete feedback. My bad, too. So, if time permits, take a few minutes to print out the page and mark it up or cover it with smiley faces.


See you all this Tuesday night.
Metaphors be with you :) Dan

Point of View - Article of Interest #1

Hello Hopeful Writer's in Training.

There is nothing particularly new in this blog but the comments by well-known writers I thought were helpful and insightful.

Anyway, here's the site: http://baldwriter.blogspot.com/2008/03/point-of-view.html

I look forward to your examples.....

Sharon

Show Don't Tell - Meeting Minutes

Hey gang.

Great night. Makes for a pretty quick hour.
If you are like me, what may be granite the night before can turn to mere vapor by morning. I thought a recap might help.

Show don't tell.
The general idea is to keep the reader engaged in the story world. Let them see, hear, taste, smell, feel, plus get into the thought world of the characters.

Instead of-- Fred was excited about the news.
We'd write-- Fred danced around the kitchen. "Whooooohoo! They want my book!"

We also talked about how natural "showing" becomes if the scene is in your head, whether from memory or a vivid imagination. The story should unroll just as if there is a camera filming from the narrator's shoulder. We couldn't film Fred excited, but we could show him dancing in the kitchen. Good visual, yeah?

We hit briefly on making scene cards. Here is what I fill out before writing a scene: Chapter, Setting, Characters involved, Point of View, Main Point, Intensity scale (Is this an action scene or a reprieve?), Hook, Date, Time of day, Weather, Dramatic question raised, Dramatic question answered. Knowing this ahead of time helps me see the scene.

This also helps to "marble in" or "parcel" large chunks of told information. Instead of beginning a chapter with a long description of the setting or the weather, we can work information into the action beats. (It is important to anchor your reader to the setting, but they don't need the whole weather report and geology lesson.)

Instead of--
The restaurant was upscale with elegant furnishings; "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please," Dona said.

Dona set the pleated napkin on her lap and turned to the garcon, "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please."

Lastly, watch the adverbs. (Ooops.) They are a clue to telling. There is a place for them and a time to move the story forward with a bit of telling, but for self-editing, they are something to look for, especially when connected to a dialog tag. Ex: Dan said emphatically.

Two great books about showing are: Self-editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King, and Stein on Writing by Sol Stein. I'm sure the local library carries both.

Any reference to Fred dancing or Dona eating duck is purely my own fabrication and in no way, other than my screwy sense of humor, to imply that not being there makes any person a target for my lame examples. :)

Next month's topic: POV (Point of View)

For the next two weeks we will e-mail POV information, ideas, violations, examples, questions and valuable sources. Then the last two weeks we will send a one-page example of our writing to everyone in the group so we can discuss at our next meeting. Look for a part where you feel you're struggling with POV. We can test the waters.

Example of a POV violation: My face turned red the moment I began to speak in front of the group.

If you don't see the POV violation in the prior sentence, good. We can learn together.

God Bless,
Dan

Show Don't Tell - Preparation for group meeting

We're back. I can't wait to share some of the info on what's happening in the publishing world.

Ashley's article on Show don't Tell is perfect. I wish it had been explained clearly to me from the beginning. I finally get it. :)

Please send your first page or 500 words to one another. This means- send a copy to everyone on the list. Then examine one anothers work, looking especially for show don't tell. Caviat. There is a time for telling and we will be discussing that. Bring your comments on Tuesday. Shoot for having them e-mailed by the beginning of this weekend.

I feel this is one of the most important aspects to great writing. In the examples it becomes clear the powerful difference made by showing. God bless you guys. I look forward to our meeting at Bev's next tuesday.

Thanks! Dan

Show Don't Tell

By Ashley Ludwig

I loved the book, but the movie was awful…

How many writers have felt that way? More than likely, it’s because you didn’t “see it” the way the director did. You had an image in your mind of what the heroine or hero looked like, where they lived, or how they talked. All because the author wrapped you around their finger and involved you by letting you see the story in your mind’s eye. This is the elusive mode of storytelling that is commonly referred to as “show, don’t tell.”

No one likes to be told what to do, where to go, or how to feel when you get there. Your book is your opportunity to become emotionally involved with new characters or old friends, and get your readers into the action! So, in reviewing your writing, how do you tell the difference?

Showing invokes a feeling: The agony of heartbreak, the gut wrenching of fear, or the elation of victory. Telling just allows you to explain that someone had their heart broken, was afraid, or won an event. The best authors weave their stories by allowing you to use your imagination and picture the scene right along with them. Here are some examples of how this can be achieved:

Ashley found that writing a scene for a novel or short story could be a
painfully difficult, often terrifying task.

or...

Oh, no! It’s happening again, she thought, her heart racing. Ashley broke into a
cold sweat, her mouth went bone dry as the cursor taunted and flashed on the
blank page.

Which one is show don’t tell?

Hopefully, it’s obvious. You show nervousness and fear with a pounding heart, by breaking into a cold sweat. Everyone knows that if your mouth is dry and you feel a cursor is taunting you, you’re probably nervous, worried, or having some sort of break down. Here is another example:

Ashley sat at the keyboard, typing as fast as she could. “Mommy! You said we
could go to the park!” Her daughter was upset.

or...

Just one more paragraph! Ashley thought, guiltily. Her fingers clicked on the
keys, as if flying of their own volition. She flicked her eyes at her daughter,
hair in pigtails, shoes on the wrong feet, starting yet another crayon
masterpiece. Ashley’s rolled top desk was already littered with drawings of a
stick figure girl and her mommy waiting at the bottom of the enormous slide.
Rachel’s four-year-old patience was worn thin as she frowned. “Mommy! You said
we could go to the park!”

So, what is the difference between the first example and the second? By showing the reader we’ve learned that Ashley is sitting at a rolled top desk, and there are drawings of a busy little girl who is anxious to go down the slide, she feels guilty about it.

So, now that the idea is clear is the question: how do you set your scene? Think of that word cinematography. People tend to be drawn to stunning cinematography, even if the movie is horrible and the storyline leaves something to be desired. A slow pan around the room will tell you several details:

1. What era are you writing?
2. Is this a wagon train western? Or a modern day psycho-thriller?
3. What time of day is it?
4. Who and what is in the room?
5. Who joins the scene and how?

All of these questions can be answered by showing your reader. Your mission should be:

• Evaluate a page of your book.
• Find a passage where you have told your reader something as opposed to letting them figure it out themselves.
• Rewrite by showing.

By letting your readers “see” instead of being told, you enable them to get a feel for the characters. They can envision the many rooms of the houses you are building, the wide sweeping landscapes that you are painting, and invariably, to become involved in the telling of your story.

Great Firsts...

Welcome to the First Temecula Writer's Toolbox Blog post...

We're a few months behind, but will be posting the topics we've addressed thus far, along with supporting links for extending your online education.

In our first meeting, we met to pray, pick prayer partners, and discuss the importance of a reat first line -- what is it about an incredible first line that grabs a reader and won't let them go?

We reviewed each other's first lines and commented on them. Please take a look at your first line, and add it as a comment!