Show Don't Tell - Meeting Minutes

Hey gang.

Great night. Makes for a pretty quick hour.
If you are like me, what may be granite the night before can turn to mere vapor by morning. I thought a recap might help.

Show don't tell.
The general idea is to keep the reader engaged in the story world. Let them see, hear, taste, smell, feel, plus get into the thought world of the characters.

Instead of-- Fred was excited about the news.
We'd write-- Fred danced around the kitchen. "Whooooohoo! They want my book!"

We also talked about how natural "showing" becomes if the scene is in your head, whether from memory or a vivid imagination. The story should unroll just as if there is a camera filming from the narrator's shoulder. We couldn't film Fred excited, but we could show him dancing in the kitchen. Good visual, yeah?

We hit briefly on making scene cards. Here is what I fill out before writing a scene: Chapter, Setting, Characters involved, Point of View, Main Point, Intensity scale (Is this an action scene or a reprieve?), Hook, Date, Time of day, Weather, Dramatic question raised, Dramatic question answered. Knowing this ahead of time helps me see the scene.

This also helps to "marble in" or "parcel" large chunks of told information. Instead of beginning a chapter with a long description of the setting or the weather, we can work information into the action beats. (It is important to anchor your reader to the setting, but they don't need the whole weather report and geology lesson.)

Instead of--
The restaurant was upscale with elegant furnishings; "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please," Dona said.

Dona set the pleated napkin on her lap and turned to the garcon, "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please."

Lastly, watch the adverbs. (Ooops.) They are a clue to telling. There is a place for them and a time to move the story forward with a bit of telling, but for self-editing, they are something to look for, especially when connected to a dialog tag. Ex: Dan said emphatically.

Two great books about showing are: Self-editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King, and Stein on Writing by Sol Stein. I'm sure the local library carries both.

Any reference to Fred dancing or Dona eating duck is purely my own fabrication and in no way, other than my screwy sense of humor, to imply that not being there makes any person a target for my lame examples. :)

Next month's topic: POV (Point of View)

For the next two weeks we will e-mail POV information, ideas, violations, examples, questions and valuable sources. Then the last two weeks we will send a one-page example of our writing to everyone in the group so we can discuss at our next meeting. Look for a part where you feel you're struggling with POV. We can test the waters.

Example of a POV violation: My face turned red the moment I began to speak in front of the group.

If you don't see the POV violation in the prior sentence, good. We can learn together.

God Bless,
Dan