Point of View - Meeting Notes

Greetings, fellow authors!

I say that, because as we all know - if you are writing, you're an author. It is what God has put on your heart to do. We write because we must.

We've agreed that there is so much going on in everyone's life - that we needed to put together a group "blog" so that we can remember what we've learned, and keep an eye on where we're headed. This is our toolbox, and as we grow it will be interesting to see how far we've come as a group! Dan and Denise are steering the ship, and we are most grateful for their bringing us all together!

First of all, thanks again to Bev for hosting. We appreciate you! (from the guests who wouldn't leave...) Secondly, we had a few new members join us - a nod to Leonard and Tonya - we are looking forward to seeing more of what you are working on. Glad to have you! Third - thank you all for the kudos! It's exciting to have landed my first book contract - and a total God thing that my editor's suggestion was to review my novel for... Point of View violations. Ha!

This week, we met to work on POV (Point of View). We've each done research on what POV means, how it can be a useful tool in promoting suspense, sharing the motivations of your characters, and driving your story forward. We had the extra benefit of being able to review writing from each of the POV narratives:

• 1st Person - I picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.
• 2nd Person - you picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.
• 3rd Person - Jackie picked up the cup and handed it to Donna.

Each one serves a different purpose - and puts your reader in a different place. Each one has its benefits and limitations. We saw first person through Sharon's teenage baseball star. Second person was explored through Ralph's exploration of all three POVs, and third person was reviewed both from Bev's intimate (character's inner thoughts) and Fred's more action oriented, third person limited.

Next time, we will meet to give our Elevator Pitches - your story in 15 words or less! and to provide our 250 word "back cover blurb." This is not your full story synopsis, mind you - but a teaser that would entice readers to open your book. It is the most hair-pulling, mind-bending writing that we can do, but a challenge that you'll find well worth it.

Please comment to this posting, and leave your thoughts for good places to research how to write a blurb / elevator pitch!

God bless and good writing... or, as Dan says... metaphors be with you!

~Ashley*

*If you are interested in posting a blog entry, please e-mail me: ashleyludwig@verizon.net and I'll set you up!

Point of View - Article of Interest #2

Fellow pensters,

Here's another article I found that goes into some really great detail. It's the transcript to a video lecture you can download.

http://www.writingshow.com/articles/transcripts/2007/07222007.html

Anyone need directions again?

Bev

Point of View - Preparation E-mail

Hey Gang,

Time to get your page in. Some of you may be wrestling with what to send. I mean, we ought to be able to keep our point of view on track for one page. Right?

So, send in a page you're wrestling with, or, as I'm going to do, write one page with a POV that you've never experimented with before, maybe second person.
You all sent many great articles on POV.

For those who remember my original E-mail where I gave an example of a point of view violation and asked what was wrong with it, the problem was the character described what was happening to his own face in a way that only someone else could see. In first person, they shouldn't say "my face turned red." POV violation.

It's important when creating the fiction dream that the reader is cemented to one point of view per scene. A trust is developed with the author that everything written is from that point of view. Clear as mud--right? We'll talk more on Tuesday night.

I've been asked about CBA vs. ABA market. I'd like to spend a few minutes on that Tuesday night as well. I think there have been many mind-bending changes in the last few years that could come as a surprise.

Also, I plan on launching next month's topic: Punctuation. NOT MY SPECIALTY! When do you use those em dashes and ellipses, anyhow? And since when is there only one space after a period? And when did some authors start beginning sentences with a conjunction? Auhhhhh! What is this world coming to?

It was also brought to my attention that if people are taking the time to send in samples, they would like some real concrete feedback. My bad, too. So, if time permits, take a few minutes to print out the page and mark it up or cover it with smiley faces.


See you all this Tuesday night.
Metaphors be with you :) Dan

Point of View - Article of Interest #1

Hello Hopeful Writer's in Training.

There is nothing particularly new in this blog but the comments by well-known writers I thought were helpful and insightful.

Anyway, here's the site: http://baldwriter.blogspot.com/2008/03/point-of-view.html

I look forward to your examples.....

Sharon

Show Don't Tell - Meeting Minutes

Hey gang.

Great night. Makes for a pretty quick hour.
If you are like me, what may be granite the night before can turn to mere vapor by morning. I thought a recap might help.

Show don't tell.
The general idea is to keep the reader engaged in the story world. Let them see, hear, taste, smell, feel, plus get into the thought world of the characters.

Instead of-- Fred was excited about the news.
We'd write-- Fred danced around the kitchen. "Whooooohoo! They want my book!"

We also talked about how natural "showing" becomes if the scene is in your head, whether from memory or a vivid imagination. The story should unroll just as if there is a camera filming from the narrator's shoulder. We couldn't film Fred excited, but we could show him dancing in the kitchen. Good visual, yeah?

We hit briefly on making scene cards. Here is what I fill out before writing a scene: Chapter, Setting, Characters involved, Point of View, Main Point, Intensity scale (Is this an action scene or a reprieve?), Hook, Date, Time of day, Weather, Dramatic question raised, Dramatic question answered. Knowing this ahead of time helps me see the scene.

This also helps to "marble in" or "parcel" large chunks of told information. Instead of beginning a chapter with a long description of the setting or the weather, we can work information into the action beats. (It is important to anchor your reader to the setting, but they don't need the whole weather report and geology lesson.)

Instead of--
The restaurant was upscale with elegant furnishings; "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please," Dona said.

Dona set the pleated napkin on her lap and turned to the garcon, "I'll have the duck in plum sauce, please."

Lastly, watch the adverbs. (Ooops.) They are a clue to telling. There is a place for them and a time to move the story forward with a bit of telling, but for self-editing, they are something to look for, especially when connected to a dialog tag. Ex: Dan said emphatically.

Two great books about showing are: Self-editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King, and Stein on Writing by Sol Stein. I'm sure the local library carries both.

Any reference to Fred dancing or Dona eating duck is purely my own fabrication and in no way, other than my screwy sense of humor, to imply that not being there makes any person a target for my lame examples. :)

Next month's topic: POV (Point of View)

For the next two weeks we will e-mail POV information, ideas, violations, examples, questions and valuable sources. Then the last two weeks we will send a one-page example of our writing to everyone in the group so we can discuss at our next meeting. Look for a part where you feel you're struggling with POV. We can test the waters.

Example of a POV violation: My face turned red the moment I began to speak in front of the group.

If you don't see the POV violation in the prior sentence, good. We can learn together.

God Bless,
Dan

Show Don't Tell - Preparation for group meeting

We're back. I can't wait to share some of the info on what's happening in the publishing world.

Ashley's article on Show don't Tell is perfect. I wish it had been explained clearly to me from the beginning. I finally get it. :)

Please send your first page or 500 words to one another. This means- send a copy to everyone on the list. Then examine one anothers work, looking especially for show don't tell. Caviat. There is a time for telling and we will be discussing that. Bring your comments on Tuesday. Shoot for having them e-mailed by the beginning of this weekend.

I feel this is one of the most important aspects to great writing. In the examples it becomes clear the powerful difference made by showing. God bless you guys. I look forward to our meeting at Bev's next tuesday.

Thanks! Dan

Show Don't Tell

By Ashley Ludwig

I loved the book, but the movie was awful…

How many writers have felt that way? More than likely, it’s because you didn’t “see it” the way the director did. You had an image in your mind of what the heroine or hero looked like, where they lived, or how they talked. All because the author wrapped you around their finger and involved you by letting you see the story in your mind’s eye. This is the elusive mode of storytelling that is commonly referred to as “show, don’t tell.”

No one likes to be told what to do, where to go, or how to feel when you get there. Your book is your opportunity to become emotionally involved with new characters or old friends, and get your readers into the action! So, in reviewing your writing, how do you tell the difference?

Showing invokes a feeling: The agony of heartbreak, the gut wrenching of fear, or the elation of victory. Telling just allows you to explain that someone had their heart broken, was afraid, or won an event. The best authors weave their stories by allowing you to use your imagination and picture the scene right along with them. Here are some examples of how this can be achieved:

Ashley found that writing a scene for a novel or short story could be a
painfully difficult, often terrifying task.

or...

Oh, no! It’s happening again, she thought, her heart racing. Ashley broke into a
cold sweat, her mouth went bone dry as the cursor taunted and flashed on the
blank page.

Which one is show don’t tell?

Hopefully, it’s obvious. You show nervousness and fear with a pounding heart, by breaking into a cold sweat. Everyone knows that if your mouth is dry and you feel a cursor is taunting you, you’re probably nervous, worried, or having some sort of break down. Here is another example:

Ashley sat at the keyboard, typing as fast as she could. “Mommy! You said we
could go to the park!” Her daughter was upset.

or...

Just one more paragraph! Ashley thought, guiltily. Her fingers clicked on the
keys, as if flying of their own volition. She flicked her eyes at her daughter,
hair in pigtails, shoes on the wrong feet, starting yet another crayon
masterpiece. Ashley’s rolled top desk was already littered with drawings of a
stick figure girl and her mommy waiting at the bottom of the enormous slide.
Rachel’s four-year-old patience was worn thin as she frowned. “Mommy! You said
we could go to the park!”

So, what is the difference between the first example and the second? By showing the reader we’ve learned that Ashley is sitting at a rolled top desk, and there are drawings of a busy little girl who is anxious to go down the slide, she feels guilty about it.

So, now that the idea is clear is the question: how do you set your scene? Think of that word cinematography. People tend to be drawn to stunning cinematography, even if the movie is horrible and the storyline leaves something to be desired. A slow pan around the room will tell you several details:

1. What era are you writing?
2. Is this a wagon train western? Or a modern day psycho-thriller?
3. What time of day is it?
4. Who and what is in the room?
5. Who joins the scene and how?

All of these questions can be answered by showing your reader. Your mission should be:

• Evaluate a page of your book.
• Find a passage where you have told your reader something as opposed to letting them figure it out themselves.
• Rewrite by showing.

By letting your readers “see” instead of being told, you enable them to get a feel for the characters. They can envision the many rooms of the houses you are building, the wide sweeping landscapes that you are painting, and invariably, to become involved in the telling of your story.

Great Firsts...

Welcome to the First Temecula Writer's Toolbox Blog post...

We're a few months behind, but will be posting the topics we've addressed thus far, along with supporting links for extending your online education.

In our first meeting, we met to pray, pick prayer partners, and discuss the importance of a reat first line -- what is it about an incredible first line that grabs a reader and won't let them go?

We reviewed each other's first lines and commented on them. Please take a look at your first line, and add it as a comment!